Kana
by uzumakixhinata
Summary: Tsurara's point of view. I don't want to spoil so just go ahead and read it. And pretty please, don't throw cucumbers at me once you're done with the story. Though I doubt anybody will finish it once they realize where the story is heading.


I wrote this one while at work since I was bored and had nothing to do. The main reason why it's a bit short. Please be warned that this is angst and you might not like the ending. Scratch that, I think you'd probably never like it. Also, I think I've turned this into a poem or something with the rhyme and all. It felt kind of weird reading it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Nurarihyon no Mago.

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Ienaga Kana.

The very mention of her name sends a boiling rage within my icy veins. I hated her with a passion that can even melt the ice that is my very essence.

I never liked her, starting from the first time that I laid my eyes on her.

She is a perfection that I hated within my very core.

I hated the way her chocolate hair shines against the light. I hated the way her eyes turns into crescent moons as she smiles. I hated the way her lips quirks into a grin as she talks like an enthusiastic child. I hated her gait as she walks under the vast sky. I hated how her skin glows whenever her emotions rise.

Most of all, I hated how he gazes at her with a look that could not be mistaken for anything else.

It is a look that screams of nothing but love. He might not have said a thing but that look in his eyes is already enough. It tears at me, leaving deep, permanent scars. Mercilessly, it carves a large gaping hole in my heart. It hurts. It hurts a lot that it leaves a numbing feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Slowly, painfully, it is killing a part of me that should not have existed in the first place. It is a poison that slowly withers all of me. Staring at myself in the mirror, I see nothing but an ice maiden with a flawless smile that in reality, is distorted with misery.

I cry of blood when realization have dawned on me. His feelings, they are no longer for me to claim. I know, I never have the chance to begin with. I thought I have already accepted the fact that I am not meant for him. That he is not meant for me.

The sordid truth that I am still hoping in vain hit me as soon as I become aware of the intense flicker of his ruby eyes as he gazes at her. Of how the edgy and sharp features of his face softens as he gazes at her. Of the gentle smile that flits his lips as he gazes at her. I never wanted to see it but I did. Ignorance is a bliss they say, and more than anything else, remaining as an ignorant is all I ever wished.

He promised me eternity and truly, I believed it to last forever. I cling unto his words, never doubting them for a second. I should have known that all of it is me just being a fool. I have known that my place beside him will be taken by somebody else, somebody who will occupy a space in his heart where no one else could replace. And that somebody turns out to be her.

Kana, how I hated that name. How I hated the very existence of the one that bears that name.

Hating her as I may, however deep it may, I can never turn a blind eye to the fact that she's the sole reason that a definite sparkle in his eyes was born. As much as it pains me to no end, I can't deny the happiness that he exudes whenever he thinks of her, whenever he's with her. His features is a myriad of soulful expressions that envelopes those around him in a warmth that fills them in.

Hating her as I may, this hatred that lurks within me cannot numb the sorrow I feel when I see the hollow smile of his lips. The blank stare his eyes projects. The void expression his face wears. The coldness that replaces the warmth he once possessed. I cannot bear it and for once, I realize that his happiness is all that matters to me. It breaks me to think that he's become a lifeless shell without her presence beside him.

Standing before her, I wanted to wrap my hands around her neck, choke her till her death. A befitting end for her, as I deem it. She caused this sorrow, this misery, this pain, and for them to vanish, she must be erased. Instead, I wrap my hands with her own and slowly, I feel the warmth that it exudes. She accepts it with a smile that touches my core, a gesture I can't ignore. She feels so warm and it spreads through me like a raging fire. She reminds me of him, the familiarity of it sending a tingling prickle on my skin. Shame and guilt riddled my whole being, for such a gentle soul, I have revered with malice.

With a resolve that is like a phoenix that has been reborn from the ashes of flame, I take her along with me, towards the lone figure up ahead. There, at the place where I asked him to wait, he stands still with a look that's so far away. Steadily, we approach him, without a hurry in our steps. One, two, three, he turns towards us, a surprise look etched on his face. I step aside, letting his vision be filled of her. They stare at each other, their eyes never breaking free. Within the depths of his blood-stained orbs, a warm fire slowly ignites and really, that's all I wanted to see. I turn around and left them there, wishing that once he's back at home, a full splitting grin on his face, and the warmth that accompanies it, will be finally back in its place.

Till then, the mere mention of her name, Ienaga Kana, will remain as a bitter taste at the tip of my tongue, within my lips.


End file.
